What a Crazy Life
by The Cucco Leader
Summary: Follow the mishaps of the Smash Mansion through the eyes of Olimar as he tries to survive the wild antics of the rest of the smashers.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N:Well, um, hi! I'm The Cucco Leader, but call me CL for short. I have been looking at this site for a while, so I decided to join. Yeah so I noticed there aren't that many stories about Olimar and since he is one of my favorite characters..yeah. I don't know the characters personalities, so they might be OOC. I am hopeful that people will like it.**

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**Disclaimer:I think if I put a disclaimer here, then I don't own anything. Just a thought.**

"Hey Olimar, are you coming?" asked Luigi. He was walking down the main hallway to the movie viewing room in the Smash Mansion when he saw Olimar standing around nearby with a laser gun stolen from the items storage and a makeshift cardboard shield.

"OH HELL NO!"screamed Olimar. "There is no way I'm going in THERE again! Did you forget what happened last time?"

"How could you forget?"he shuddered. "That was traumatizing, but it was Roy's fault for putting in Brave by accident. It was nothing."

"NOTHING?"he responded."There was a riot! Everyone hated that movie!"

"C'mon,"he asked. "How bad can it be? Lightning Doesn't strike twice, as they say."

"Well..."

"We're watching Finding Nemo..."he offered.

"Maybe..."

"Link's threatening everyone to come."he stated.

"Wait, what?"asked Olimar.

"Yeah, he LOVES Finding Nemo,"Luigi exclaimed. "He even left a threatening note for people like me who he thought weren't coming."

"...Fine."he agreed. "What could go wrong?"

They walked down the hallway until they got to a end with a large set of double doors. Over them was a banner that said in large letters 'MOVIE NIGHT'. There were some smashers still coming in despite the movie about to start. Luigi took a deep breath.

* * *

"God have mercy on our souls," Olimar murmured as they walked in.

Every Saturday night, the smashers who had nothing better to do had a movie night. They would use the movie viewing room and watch a movie of their choice. The movie room was the size of a small move theater, big enough for about 50 people, But this time, there were 40 people there.

Luigi and Olimar walked in, surprised at how many people showed up. They hurried to the front of the room and took the last two seats up front.

Snake, who had better things to do than watch a kid movie, crept slowly towards the door. Right when he was about to leave, the door slammed shut and the lights dimmed causing him to stumble back in surprise.

"Hey!"Snake shouted. "Who closed the door!"Suddenly a anvil fell on him, crushing him and shutting him up. Much better.

"Isn't that taking it a little to far, CL?" asked Pichu.

Nah, I'm sure he'll be fine. Then again, I don't really care about him. Oh well.

Olimar squirmed in his seat, worried that this movie will be his demise. The light turned on at the front as Link walked onto the stage in front of the movie screen. He walked in front of a microphone and tapped on it to get peoples attention. Boos were heard and there were even some projectiles thrown at him.

Link stepped out of the way of the projectiles and glared at them. "No matter what you do, I'm not opening the door until the movie is over,"Link said. "You all wouldn't be here if _someone_ didn't ruin the last movie night."A couple questionable words were thrown at Roy.

Link glared at Roy before speaking again. "By the way, if anyone tries to leave during the movie,they probably shouldn't go to sleep tonight."A couple people shivered at that statement. "Enjoy the show."

"We wont," Samus said.

"Shut up."

He walked off the stage as more people boo'ed him. The lights dimmed as the movie did its bar thingy and it started the previews.

"We have to stop this," Olimar whispered to Luigi. "I've saw this movie five times already and I don't want to see it again."

"But then he'll _get us,_" Luigi whispered back. "and beside, he'll be guarding the movie room."

"Then we need a distraction," he responded. "You will insult the movie and distract Link so I can get into the movie room."

"Why do I have to distract him?" asked Luigi.

"Because I don't want to," he said.

Luigi sighed. "Fine."

"Great!"Olimar said. "Let's do this."

Luigi got up from his seat as Olimar crept away to the viewing room. "Gee!" Luigi exclaimed, catching some of the smashers attention. "This movie really sucks! I wouldn't want to see this piece of *** EVER AGAIN!"

A gasp was heard as Link approached Luigi, giving Olimar a chance to retreat into the viewing room.

"Did you just insult Finding Nemo?" Link said threateningly.

"Um..." Luigi stammered. "Well...Look over there!" While he was distracted, Luigi sprang away from him and sprinted away.

"Hey!"he yelled. "Get back here!" Link started to sprint after him as they circled around the theater, with Link trying to catch Luigi and the lather trying to get away from Link.

Olimar looked over the corner and saw that Link was distracted. "Finally," he breathed a sigh of relief as he moved towards the small monitor that was only ten minutes into the movie. He opened a internet window as he went onto YouTube. He searched until he found the most annoying video he could find.

He smirked. "Perfect."

"AH!" Luigi screamed as he tripped and fell. "Oh no...please don't hurt me!"

"This is it..." Link said in a demonic voice as he loomed over him. "THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR INSULTING FINDING NEMO!"

"Nooooo..." He said in a small voice.

"So where's the mountain?" said a girl's voice from the screen. Link diverted his attention from him as he looked at the screen.

"Oh no!" Ike exclaimed. "It's the ultimate evil! It's...It's..."

"DORA THE EXPLOROR!" Falco screamed.

"EVERONE RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Fox screamed. There was a loud scream as everyone made a mad dash for the door. There was pushing and shoving as the doors opened, allowing everyone to leave. Eventually, everyone had left, other than Olimar, who had stopped the video. He had found a video of the most annoying Dora moments and managed to scare everyone off.

Luigi peered into the theater room, a big shoe mark on his face. "Olimar?" Luigi called. "Are you in there?"

He peeked out of the corner and saw Luigi. "Oh, over here," he responded.

"I'm traumatized." Luigi stated.

"Oh."he responded. "Um...sorry?"

"It's fine," he said. "At least we're not dead...yet"

Olimar eyes widened as he realized what Link would do to them later. "Well...now what?"

"You want to watch a movie?"

"Sure."

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**A/N:Wow... how come I can't write anything that's not totally lame...**

**I think if I decide to get off my lazy butt I might do a winter themed chapter. Maybe.**

**And I broke the fourth wall. So...can anyone review? Please? Constructive criticism is appreciated.**

**See you next time!**


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N:Hiya! I'm back with a new chapter!:). Lately, I have been playing Majora's Mask and I just want to say that it is one of the creepiest games I have ever played! I mean, c'mon, knowing everyone is going to die and having to clear temples in a time limit to prevent the inevitable is scary! Anyway, thank you so much Gnat1 and Sonar for reviewing! I'm glad you enjoyed it!*gives hug* I actually got this idea when I was reading a story about Toon Link getting sick. I forgot what it was called, but it was hilarious! I hope you enjoy it.**

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**Disclaimer:I don't own anything. Do you really need to know that?**

"Give me my pancake!"

"But it's the last one!"

"I saw it first!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

Olimar had unfortunately made one of the biggest mistake anybody could make:come late for breakfast, mostly because how bad it got at the serving table. It gets so bad that the Alloys that serve food get on their knees in a begging position so they don't have to work there.

When he came in, he saw the pancake tray empty and Ike and Marth fighting over the last one. They both were trying to pull it away from each other, so it was a wonder that-

SPLAT!

Never mind...

Unfortunately, the pancake had split in half and was thrown from their hands, right at Olimar. The two pieces smacked onto his helmet and began to slowly slide down, leaving butter grease. He wiped the grease off with a napkin he got off the table and grabbed the two pieces of the pancake. Olimar glared at him as he waved the two pieces of pancake at them.

"Hey!" shouted Ike. "Give those to me!"

"No!" argued Marth. "Give those to _me_!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Mine!"

"Enough!"Olimar shouted at them his loudest, which actually sounded like a regular person talking. "Both of you are acting like brats! You know you can just share, right?" He handed them each split half of the pancake. Ike grinned.

"Thanks Olimar!"Ike thanked. "You're not as an idiot as people say you are!"

"Um...that's what people say about yo-?"Marth quickly interrupted him.

"Don't say anything, just let him live with it,"they left as Olimar got his breakfast and entered the dining hall.

Inside the hall was pure chaos, like usual. He had to duck as some scrambled eggs soared over him, hitting a red alloy. It grunted in annoyance as it wiped them off and gave a extra napkin to someone. Olimar took his seat at an empty table.

A loud splat was heard as the same Red Alloy wiped a piece of bacon of its face. "CAN'T YOU PIGS NOT MAKE A MESS FOR ONE DAY!"it screamed loudly.

While he was distracted, Olimar spilled some ketchup on his suit. "Whoops, better get a napkin," he said. "Hey! Over here! Can I have a napkin?"

The alloy turned to him, a sneer on his face. "Fine, fine," he glared as he walked over and handed him a napkin. "Take it."

He smiled. "Why thank you-" he was interrupted when his elbow hit the side of his tray, propelling the tray right onto its face.

A loud gasp was heard as the entire hall went silent. The alloy glared at him as it took the tray off its face, showing its food covered face.

"YOU! BIG!IDOIT!" it screamed at its loudest.

"I-I'm sorry..." he tried to apologize.

"THAT!IS!IT!"the red alloy screamed at the top of its lungs. "I WON'T BE A SLAVE IN THIS PLACE ANYMORE!I QUIT!"

"IS SOMEONE QUITTING?"a loud, booming voice echoed from the hallway. A large, white, floating hand came in the room and tensed up.

"BOB." he stated.

"Master Hand." Bob shot back. They continued to glare(Well, it looked like MH was glaring at Bob...just bear with me here.) at each other until someone broke the silence.

"I thought the alloys didn't have names," Shake said out loud. "so, what happened between you guys?"

"I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT."MH commented. "LET'S JUST SAY SOMTHING HAPPEND IN THE LAST TORNEMANT." A couple people began to snicker as Ness and Young Link

glared at Bob.

"But to answer you, after an event," Bob answered vaguely, "Master Hand began to call me Bob because he didn't like that name."

"Wait a minute," Nana started to ask, "what was 'the event'?"

"I don't want to say," said Young Link.

"Anyway,"he continued, "I quit! Bob the alloy is out, peace!"Before he left, he turned to Olimar and loomed over him.

"But don't think I forgot about _you_," he said angrily, "I'm will get my revenge, on _all _of you!Someday..." he walked backwards, still pointing at everyone as he went to the back door. He bumped into the door, rubbing his back as he opened the door and slipped out, leaving an ominous silence behind him.

"Well...um...move on, everyone," MH said as he left the dining hall. Once he left, the hall returned to its usual chaos. Olimar sighed and, still a bit shaken up, got up to leave. On the hway he bumped into someone.

Oh, I'm so sorr-" he was interrupted when he heard a-

"AH-CHOOO!"

Once again, never mind.

He wiped the snot off his helmet and saw Lucas. He was a bit pale and obviously nauseated. He had a stuffed nose and had a bad cough.

"Ugh...excuse me," moaned Lucas as tried to pass by, but Olimar stepped in front of him. "can you please let me pass through."

"Lucas," He started, "you look very sick, you should be getting rest."

"Don't worry, I'm*cough cough*fine..."he answered. "On second thought, I don't feel so well."

"Well then, let's get you to bed." he responded. They left the hall as they went into the main room, where there were some smashers reading books. They walked up the stairs to the third floor and went into a room.

Because it was a big room, Ness, Toon Link, and Lucas had to share it with each other. There were three beds in the middle with three dressers for each. There was also a big closet for them to share. Olimar and Lucas walked into the room as Lucas got into bed. Olimar put a thermometer in his mouth and took his temperature.

"Yeesh. That's not good," He said, "I'll get some medicine, don't worry." As he was leaving, the door opened, pushing him to the floor.

"Hey!"someone shouted, "We heard Lucas wasn't feeling so well, so we cam to help take care of him!" Ness and TL came into the room suddenly, surprising Lucas.

"Um..great,"he said as he got back up, "I was going to go get some medicine, can you watch him please?"

"Sure!"said TL,"You can count on us-OHMYGOSHACOOKIE!"he ran over and grabbed a random cookie of the floor, then began to nom on it loudly.

"Err...yeah,"he responded, "I'll be right back."he quickly left the room before something could go wrong so he wouldn't be held accountable.

"Hey, are you okay?"Ness asked as he went to the side of the bed.

"A-Actually,"He said in a small voice,"I am a little hot...can you get me a ice pack please?"

"Actually..."TL trailed off, "I know a great place you can _cool off_..."

"R-Really?"Lucas asked as Ness got him out of bed.

"Really."Ness said ominously as they led him out of the room exchanging evil smiles as they left.

"Hello?TL?Ness?Lucas?"Olimar walked into the room with a children medicine box and a measuring cup in hand. He looked in the room to see the nobody was in there. "What?Nobody's in here?How strange."While he was distracted, someone sneaked up on him from behind.

"Don't worry!"TL shouted at him, startling him. "He's all _taken care of_..."

"Yes,"Ness agreed, "_taken care of _indeed..."

"Erm...okay?"he said, "What did you do with him?And why are you acting so ominous?"

"_No reason..._"they said ominously as they backed out of the room, leaving him very confused.

"Ummm..."he said, very confused. The shock quickly came to him as he looked around in a panic.

"Oh,no!"he yelled. He quickly jumped out of the room and ran over to the the nearest person, Peach.

"HAVEYOUSEENLUCAS_ANYWHERE_?"he quickly asked.

"Um...the boys passed by with him a minute ago,"she answered, "they headed to the stage room."

"Thank you," he quickly responded as he ran off to the stage room. He ran down to the second floor, down to the end of the hallway until he reached a large set of double doors. Hoping this was the right place, he went inside.

The room had four large teleporters for a maximum of four fighters on a stage during a brawl. There was a large computer-like device that allowed you to enter a stage and instantly teleport there. There was also a door on the side that led to the spectator box, where others can watch brawls.

Of course, during a brawl, it was just a stage to fight on. I hope you get what I'm saying, because I don't really know what I'm trying to explain myself. Okay?Good. So, during a brawl it was just a stage, _but_ after a brawl, what happens to it?C'mon, guess. I dares you too!DARES YOU I SAY!You know what, never mind. So, since the stages were linked from there worlds, the stages could actually bring you to to a different world! Of course, Master Hand made it a rule that when you visit a stage not in use, to not stray away from the stage area, but no one actually follows that rule anyway.

"That's a detailed description,"Olimar said with a hint of sarcasm.

Shut up.

"Shouldn't we get on with the-"

I suddenly have a craving for cookies.

"We really need to-"

Do you have any cookies?I like cookies. Cookies make the world go round.

Olimar got an idea. "Hey I'll give you a cookie if you continue with the chapter."

YES.

Olimar went over to the machine and looked at the many stages. He looked at the most recently accessed stage and clicked on the name. He stepped on one of the teleporters as it turned on.

"Here we go..."

"Wahh!"

Lucas cried as he crawled away from the not very scary bear, which was randomly walking in his direction. He was angry at Ness and TL for leaving him at Icicle mountain, at the mercy at a polar bear with trunks and sunglasses, even though it was very cold.

When they lead Lucas to the stage room, they jumped to the machine and quickly set it to the snowy peak known as the summit. He asked what they were doing, but before he could get an answer, they pushed him in. He ended up on the summit, but in surprise, he tripped over and fell down some of the mountain. It was very painful, but it just got worse as he met the polar bear and got scared and began to run away.

He jumped around the rocks and avoided the other enemies on the mountain(I honestly never played Ice Climbers, so I don't know the enemies in the game, so...), scared out of his mind.

Unfortunately, he tripped over a small rock and fell face first into the snow. "Ow..."he muttered. He got up to see the polar bear has caught up with him.

"Please Mr. Polar Bear, don't eat me! I taste like..um, uh...Whatever I taste like!"Lucas cried, whimpering cowardly.

"Hey!"he shouted, offended by the above text.

What?It's true.

Suddenly, someone grabbed him and pulled him up to the next ledge. He blinked and rubble his eyes and smiled slightly.

"Thanks for helping me Olimar,"he thanked, "That polar bear almost k-killed me."

"Lucas, that polar bear was just walking in the background, that's it's job."Olimar responded.

"Oh..."

"...Well,"he said, "let's just get out of here, then you can explain to me what happened."

They climbed back up to the summit where there was a doorway like the ones in SSE that when you enter it, you get teleported back to the stage room. They entered the doorway to find themselves back in the stage room.

"Okay, now tell me what happened..."

"They WHAT?!"

Lucas had just finished telling Olimar what happened after he left. By then, They were back in the shared room.

"You mean they just trapped you there? How unlike them..."Olimar pondered why they would trap him in such a cold place to freeze to death. Suddenly the door burst open, surprising the two.

"Has anyone seen Ness or TL anywhere lately?"Zelda asked. "They've been missing for awhile, now."

"Really?"Olimar asked. "We just ran into them awhile ago."

"Are you sure?"she said, "They haven't been seen since this morning."

"Hmmm...I see.."he commented, "I'll see if I can find them."

"Great!"she said as she was leaving, "Well, tell me if you can find them!"

As soon as she left, Olimar turned to Lucas. "Okay, I have a plan,"he started, "I need you to stay here while I find them. I know something's amiss."

"...Okay."he agreed, "I'll wait here, you find them."

"Great,"he said as he was leaving, "Something not right here..."

Olimar was standing in front of a janitor's closet in the hallway, waiting to run into them. He was holding something behind his back which I'm not going to tell you what it is because I feel like it so stop whining and keep reading.

"Oh!" someone shouted, "H-hey Olimar...I don't know where Lucas is! I swear! He must have wandered off!"

TL and Ness were walking down the hallway when they saw him and attemped to lie to him so they wouldn't be blamed.

"Actually, I just ran into him,"Olimar responded, "on a certain mountain _somewhere_..."he then pointed an accusing finger at them. "You..."

"Um..."they didn't know what to say.

"Well," TL said with confidence. "what are you going to do about it?"

He smirked. This was what he's been waiting for. "This." He pulled a laser gun from his back, aimed it at them, then shot at them with no mercy.

"Wahh!"They tried to run away, but they were shot to the ground. He walked up to them with a bumper, ready to finish them.

"What's going on here!"Zelda ran down the hallway and took in the scene. "What are you doing! You could-"

BAM!

They were hit hard from the bumper and thrown into the wall, unconscious. However they mysteriously disappeared into mist and dissolved.

"What?"Olimar said, "They were just clones?"

Everyone knows that sometimes, they use the clone machine when someone can't make it to a brawl to make a clone of them. When a clone is defeated though, they dissolve into mist and disappear like they did just now.

"What..the..."Zelda wondered, "then, where are the real ones?"

"Mph! Mph!"a sound was heard from the closet Olimar was behind. He turned behind to open the closet and was shocked at what was behind.

"Ness! TL!"he shouted, "How did you get in there?"He pulled the gauzes off their mouths so they can explain.

"Well..."Ness trailed off.

_flashback_

"Hey, Ness, when you flush stuff down the toilet, does it go to toilet land?"TL pestered him with another ridiculous question.

"Ugh I don't know,"he complained, "can you please sto-"

"OHMYGOSHFREECAKE!"TL shot down the hallway to stop in front a piece of cake.

"Um, TL, what are the chances that there would be a random piece of cake in the hallway?"Ness asked.

"Who cares! It's mine now!"TL declared as he bent down to pick it up.

"Wait!"he shouted. "Stop! It's a-"

Suddenly a rope net pulled them up, trapping both of them.

Ness sighed. "Crap."

_end flashback_

"...and that's pretty much what happened."he concluded.

"Do you know who tied you up?"Olimar asked.

"No, Whoever it was blindfolded us before we could see."

"...Whoever it was must be planning our demise at this very moment since his plan failed..."

Oh! I know who it is!

"You do! Tell us!"Ness asked.

Nah.

"Why not?"

Because no one gave me a cookie. That reminds me, Joey, sick 'em.

Suddenly a random cucco strolled into the scene.

"How can this be dangerous to us?"Olimar said as he looked at it.

"No! Don't touch it! It's pure evil.."TL warned.

He poked it.

"AAAAHHHHHHH!"

At the back of the building, a red alloy was pacing, deep in thought.

"Maybe I can send them 1000 cursed Egyptian super termites...Nah, not enough, I need to get them where it really hurts, but where?"He shook his head and groaned as he started to glare at the window.

"I'll get you when you least expect it, this time it will work..."

**A/N:God, that took a lot longer than I thought it would. So, gasp! Bob was behind the mess! And he has more plans than this! What is going on here? You know this was originally going to be a lot longer and was going to be more of a mystery, but I cut it short.**

**Since I'm stating to get tired, I'll see you guys next time!**


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N:Hey I'm back! Again! Or else I wouldn't be here...yeah. Thanks to Gnat1...Let's just assume he was jealous that people liked them more than him. Revenge...that's kinda all I got so, I hope the people out there enjoy this chapter!**

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"Wahhhh!"

Kirby soared in the background of the Hyrule Temple, doing a crying noise in the process. Link did a victory pose as he ran over and swung at Popo, who was pulled out of the way by Nana.

They were currently in the process of a brawl at Hyrule Temple with Link beating everyone, the ice climbers coming in second, Kirby at third, and at last and definitely the least-

"Hey!"

Shut up. It's Olimar. He's dangling on the ledge on the left side.

"I can be in first if I-" he was interrupted when Kirby, who came back, hit him hard with a hammer and sent him hurtling to the edge.

"Ahhhhhh!"he screamed as he exploded in a colorful shower of light. Again.

"Not again..." Olimar mumbled as he revived on the blue platform. "Why do I always have to-" his platform gave as he fell back onto the stage. "Ow..." Finally tired of the brawl, he jumped in the chasm and decided to hide there until it was over.

"If I could just win one brawl..." he mumbled in annoyance.

He's just asking for it.

The brawl eventually came to one minute when an assist trophy appeared. Link smiles and dived, barely avoiding Kirby's suction and grabbed and activated the trophy. To everyone's dismay, Tingle was the chosen support.

"Oh!" he said obnoxiously, "Link! Are you in a brawl?"

He groaned in response. "Shut up. Just throw stuff around and get the fuck out of here."

"Actually, I came to affect the chronological order by changing something in the past that will affect the future by breaking the rules of the brawl by changing affect of the support I give by changing what item I give by throwing by changing this brawl by-"

"Shut up!" Link yelled, "What are you even talking about! Not like I care anyway."

He simply ignored him as he threw something different than what he usually throws. Instead, he threw six super mushroom down into the chasm. Everyone tried to grab them, but it was too late. They were already heading for Olimar, who had his back turned.

...Or should I say, his pikmin.

BUM-BUM-BU!

"..._shiiiiiit._"

Everyone had a look of mortal terror at the gigantic pikmin. That's right. BIG PIKMIN. Currently, he had two reds and one of all of the other colors. They hopped out of the chasm and looked over their future victims. They were building sized and now bore a vicious look on their faces. Olimar fell on the ground in shock of the huge pikmin.

Smiling with maliciousness, they first grabbed Link and merely tossed him off the stage in boredom. Kirby soon became a victim of a yellow pikmin as it played basketball with a purple one. The ice climbers were snatched as a blue juggled with a newly revived Link until they were thrown off the stage. This continued until the brawl ended, leaving Olimar ahead by a lot of points.

THE WINNER IS...OLIMAR!

The three disappointed smasher clapped in the background as Olimar celebrated in the front. Strangely enough, there was a lack of pikmin in his victory pose, which the other three noticed.

After a while, they were seen walking out of the stage room, where they were greeted with a shock. Link stumbled back, a look of fear on his face.

"Oh no...YOU NIGHTMARES ARE STILL HERE!" he screamed as the others began to hid behind a random desk in the hallway.

"How is this possible!" Olimar, who was the only one who was standing in front of them, responded, "How are you still giant! That's supposed to wear off after a brawl!"

"Wait a minute," Nana began to speak up, "The super mushrooms came from Tingle, who wasn't supposed to throw those, causing them to grow the pikmin instead of Olimar. Due to the fact they were messed up, it seems they are stuck like that unless they d-die..."

Popo, who didn't get what she was saying, said, "Oh! I get it! The mushroom were bugged so they are stuck like that! I just came up with that!"

Everyone promptly face palmed."Well, if they need to be killed, then so be it! HIYA!" Link ran up in an attempt to stab them to death, but were easily flicked away by a red. He ended up making a crater on the wall next to the desk.

"Ow..." he mumbled in pain.

The red responded in a moo that sounded like something threatening as a white picked him up and they walked away.

Once they were gone, the hallway was silent for a while until Nana spoke, "We need to tell Master Hand!"

Everyone agree to that. I mean, come on, if there were giant overprotective pikmin on the loose, you'd want to...and you're not listening to me. Let's just continue to the next scene.

* * *

"OHMYGODIT'STALORSWIFT!" Crazy shouted as the group entered Master Hand's office. Nana was a bit confused on why Crazy was here instead of MG.

"Um...CH? Where's MH?" she asked.

He was too busy rambling on about Talor Swift to notice her question. Instead, Link turned around to see a notice on the door they didn't notice.

"On a trip. Be back soon." Link read off the note. "Wait. What! When did he start to go on trips!"

"Since we had big problems that he could solve easily, so he goes on a trip just to give us an indirect message that means 'Solve your own problem's. I don't care.'" she ranted angrily.

"Well' what are we going to do?" Link asked, "We're just going to kill the pikmin ourselves?"

Nana soon came up with an idea using his intended sarcasm. "Well..."

* * *

"Oh, no. no no no no, oh, and by the way, NO" Link protested, "There is no way the pikmin would fall for THAT."

They were currently outside the library, where they heard Olimar was seen last. He was being surrounded by large overprotective pikmin against his will. Not like anyone would notice that.

"I still don't think this would work very well." Link protested.

Nana continued to ignore him. "Listen, here's the plan again. We take these," she held out some smart bombs she 'borrowed', "and chuck it at that huge bunch of party balls." She pointed to a bunch of them gathered in one spot. "they will explode, killing them! All we need to do is get everyone out of here so they wont, y'know explode and stuff."

Link pretended he was listening and responded, "Oh, yeah, I was definitely listening to everything you said about the plan for the FIFTH TIME."

She glared at him. "We're going in whether you like it or not" she said sternly. "Let's go!" She grabbed his arm and tugged him in as they walked in.

Inside was a total mess. There were books strewn across the room with many smashers who just came to read a book that were thrown into the wall by a pikmin. They were currently crowded by a bookshelf, trying to help Olimar find a good book. A blue one picked a random one off the shelf and showed it to him. After he said no, it carelessly threw the book at the wall with bitter taste.

"Maybe we should have came earlier," Link wondered out loud.

"You think?" Nana said a bit rudely. She took a deep breath before continuing. "Okay, follow my lead. And don't forget the plan."

They bravely walked up to the monster sized pikmin and stopped when they started to get defensive.

"W-Wait!" Nana stopped before they could throw them into the wall in defense. "We just wanted to talk to him. No harm done." They didn't care as they began to loom over them, about to get them until a voice rang out.

"STOP!" he shouted from behind a yellow. "Let me talk to them. Just for a second."

They snarled at them, but one of the moved aside to let them pass. They ran over to him, eager to get this day over with.

"Wow, they really respect you," Link commented at their protective behavior.

"Maybe a little, I don't think they're that overprotective," he said, "they're actually kind of nice."

Nana and Link exchanged looks. "Anyway," she continued, "as you can see, they are very protective of you, but they cause too many damages for anyone to tolerate. That's why we came up with a plan to get rid of them. Will you help us?"She held out her hand as a handshake of agreement.

"Well, I guess I can't keep them if-" Wait a minute.

"Wait a minute!" he shouted, "Why should I gt rid of them? No one is ever nice and respectful in this house to me, then why should I get rid of the only one's who don't abuse me all the time! Even the narration is mean to me! So you know what? I'm not being pushed around by anyone anymore!" he turned his back to them and pointed towards the door. "Take them away."

Soon, another hole was added to the many other holes.

"OW!"

The pikmin intentionally missed the wall and instead threw them at the wall with everyone else who was there.

"Well, that could have gone worse." she commented.

Suddenly, the wall had a huge crack appear on it, bursting open afterwords. The smasher got caught in the flood water as the pikmin and Olimar used the toppled bookshelf's for rafts. The water was steaming hot and was emitting steam. When all the water cleared out, Nana and Link were the only ones who didn't flow out. The wall broke down to show the kitchen, where the culprits were revealed:Popo and Kirby.

"Nnnnngggg..." Nana groaned as she looked to her side and saw Popo and Kirby. "What. Did. You. Do?!" she screamed at them in anger.

"Well, we tried to make soup, you didn't tell us to do anything!" Kirby said.

Link sighed and got up. "Well, since your plan failed, I think we should try one of my plans."

"What!" she exclaimed, "My plans are so much better, yours suck."

"Hey!" Link argued, "Look who's smart ass's plan just failed."

"...You know what?" she said in a angry voice, "I'll do my plan and you do yours and we'll see who does the job!"

"Fine!" Link yelled.

"Fine! Kirby, Popo, come with me."

"Wait!" Link responded, "Why do you get them!"

"Because they like me better." she argued.

"Why don't we let them decide?"

"Fine!" she agreed. "Who do you want to help, me or him?"

They both turned to them expectantly. "Well," Kirby considered. "Either one of the most famous icons of Nintendo, or a very pissed off girl. We chose Nana." They quickly walked next to a satisfied Nana.

She smirked, "See ya." She turned away and left the room, leaving Link behind.

"Damn it."

* * *

"Okay, team!"

In about an hour, Link managed to round up Marth, Ike, Roy, and Pit to help him. He stood in a leader like posture on the living room couch with the others gathered around it.

"Okay, our objective is to show that bitch who's better, alright?" Link said with confidance.

"I thought our objective was to kill the pikmin?" Pit asked.

"Oh, that too," he responded. "So, let's go over this one more time. Pit, Olimar is currently at the lunch hall while everyone else is eating in the hallway. You have to distract him, got that?"

"What?!" Pit exclaimed. "Why do I have to-"

Link cut him off, "The rest of us, CHARGE AT THEM!"

"But I still don't want to-"

Link shoved him into the hall. "ONWARD! Don't forget the signal!"

A few minutes later, a scream was heard. "AHHHHHHH!"

"...Good enough." Link said. "CHARGE!" Everyone else, although a bit reluctant, followed him. He opened the door and charged to the hallway down until they reached the gaping hole of the lunch hall. They ran in, then suddenly stopped at the entrance.

"_Oh, no,_" Marth muttered as he took in the scene. There were the pikmin, but one white was holding Pit's lifeless trophy. It put on an evil smile as it opened its mouth and swallowed it.

Link gasped, "What...the..."

Olimar walked out behind a red with an evil smile. He pointed at the group. "Get them too."

"GET OUT OF HERE!" Link screamed before he was whacked hard by a purple, turned into a trophy, then eaten. The rest tried to run, but a blue blocked the way.

"AHHHHHH!"

* * *

About thirty minutes before...

Nana was more successful in finding a group faster than Link, mostly because she had a head start. She manged to gather, along with Popo and Kirby, TL(Toon Link), Pikachu, Ness, and Lucas, to help her take care of the pikmin.

"Okay, so remember," she announced, "our main objective is to defeat the mega-sized pikmin alright?"

"And show that ass Link who's boss!" Pikachu added.

"Oh, that too," Nana said. "Okay, lunch is in a few minutes and since everyone's going to eat in the hallways so they can avoid Olimar, he's probably going to be the only one at the lunch hall. TL, you're going to be the one who goes in there to distract him while we wait over here until you give us a signal. Lucas, you have the smart bombs, right?"

"Yup!" he confirmed as he held out an armful of them.

"Great! While he's distracting him, you plant those bombs and tape this onto one of them." She handed him a fuse and some duct tape. "You run back here and hand me the other end of it. We'll sneak in there and surprise him. I'll light the other end with this lighter and we'll escape, the pikmin will be dead, and we could just revive Olimar! Everything would be better after that! Except you know, violence and stuff."

"Got it!" everyone chorused.

"Great!" she said happily. "TL, Go distract...Wait. Where's TL?" Everyone looked around the room and found out he had already left.

"WAAAAAHHHH!" a scream came from the lunch hall, accompanied by many of the smashers running for their lives out of the lunch hall.

"Umm...That's our signal! Go go GO!" Nana commanded.

Completely forgetting about the plan, they all charged in there, leaving a confused Lucas behind.

"Um...What about the bombs?" he asked. "Oh well," He shrugged and dropped them, following everyone else inside. He stopped at the doorway, where everybody else was to witness a horrifying scene. The same white was holding TL trophy and swallowed it with a satisfied grin. Olimar, who was eating his lunch on an empty table, turned to them with an evil grin.

"Although some of you were nicer to me than others," he started, "my pikmin are hungry right now and I don't want to keep them waiting." He nodded towards them. "Get them."

They didn't have any time before they cornered them with malicious grins on their faces.

"WAHHHHHH!"

* * *

Fox glanced around the living room, confused at the lack of smashers. After looking around, he finally spotted Samus , who he walked over to ask a question.

"Hey, I bet you noticed some people are missing," Samus stated before he could ask.

"Some? A lot. A lot of people are missing." Fox corrected. Samus sighed.

"They probably left for a bit or something. Don't worry about it."

* * *

"Hey look! I found some pie in here!"Popo shouted, picking up a bit of slime that was definitely not pie.

"DON'T EAT IT!"came the cry of Nana, but she was too late. Popo shoved it into his mouth and instantly regretted it.

"OH MY GOD! THAT WASN'T PIE!" Popo screamed while flailing in the stomach acid. "THAT WAS-"

"Okay! Let's keep this story T rated!" Nana asked.

They were currently floating in a huge ass bunch of stomach acid. Food bits filled it while gushy insides were the walls with a hole at the bottom. Ugh.

"Great, just great!" Pikachu complained, "Were just about to be digested in a bunch of acid in a pikmin's stomach, what else could go wrong?"

"Well, maybe Link had better success than we-" Kirby started but was interrupted by distant screming. Suddenly Link and his group dropped down from above!

"Ew!" Link complained, upest at the sudden drop, "What is this stuff?"

"Link! What are you doing here?" Nana asked with a hint of anger.

"Bluh! Where are we!?" Toon Link, somehow reviving asked as he surfaced.

"Well, we're in a goddam stomach no thanks to-"

"Wait!" Marth started to say, "I'm assuming TL was in trophy form, so if he revived, then what about Pit?"

"Oh! He got sucked into that hole thingy." TL responded casually.

"WHA-" Nana was trying to scream, but she was suddenly pulled under. Everyone felt a tug in the water as they were all pulled into the acid. A small hole at the bottom that was acting like a drain was pulling them under.

"HELP!"

* * *

"*sigh*" Olimar sighed for the fifth time. He was beginning to feel kind of bad about committing a murder spree. Now he was currently in the living room pouting about it.

"Gee, when you say it like that it just makes me feel worse!" he complained. "I just don't know what to do...I guess it has to be-"

BAM!

"Those pikmin are going down!" Samus cried, having just broke down the wall. most the remaining smasher were rallied together, all ready to settle this once and for all.

"Guys...I don't want to do this anymore...just kill them." he responded with a wave.

"Really? Them CHA-" She was interrupted when a voice started to speak, but it was not one of the smashers.

"Enough of this." A large, booming voice said. Everyone looked up in shock, the pikmin were actually talking!

The white one stepped forward, glaring at them. "We have reached a higher meaning than this, and realized how much of an idiot everyone here is." A couple complaints were heard from the crowd. "So, we will be taking over the smash mansion!"

"N-No! I wont let you do that!" Olimar ran in front of one to stop it, but was plucked off the ground and thrown at the ground.

"We have no need for any inferiors for cover anymore! Nothing can stop us!" All of them started to laugh all evil like.

"I got an idea!" Fox ran over to Olimar and helped him up. "But I need your help."

"What?" He asked impatiently.

"No hard feelings or anything, but..." He raised his laser gun, and shot him right in the chest.

"OW!" He cried in pain before being engulfed in a bright light as he collided into the wall.

The white pikmin realized their mistake. "Uh oh." A cry from it was heard as they suddenly died. To everyone's surprise, Link, Marth, Ike, Roy, Pit, Nana, Popo, Kirby, TL, Pikachu, Ness, and Lucas dropped from where the white pikmin once stood.

"..." An awkward silence filled the room.

"Well, now that that's taken care of," Samus walked over to the trophy form of Olimar and hit it's base, bringing him back.

"What was that for!?" Olimar asked angrily.

"Everyone knows that when you die, your pikmin die too, duh." She said as if everyone knew that.

"Ugh...Never again." Nana groaned as she got up.

"Hah! Your plan so failed!" Link said with a laugh, pointing a finger at her.

"What! You failed too if you didn't notice!" She complained.

He glared at her. "At least I didn't fail spectacularly."

"That's it!" She raised up her hammer and began to chase him in anger.

"H-Hey! Wait! I know who we should blame!" Popo yelled at them.

She stopped chasing him as everyone listened to him. "Who!?"

"It would obviously would be Tingle's fault for throwing out those mushrooms, but it's really whoever let him be an assist trophy in the first place! Which would be..."

Master Hand came in through the front, back from his vacation, noticing the wreckage in front of him. "Um, hello?"

"Get him!"

"HEY! AHHHHH!"

* * *

**Wow, that took a hell lot longer than I thought. Sorry about that! Y'know, life and stuff. I just couldn't get around to it. Plus, I had trouble with the ending so it's kind of crapy. So, I guess I'll see you next time! Which hopefully wont be a month later.**


End file.
